Losing My Hamster Cheeks

By: Becky Cummings

Dec 13, 2023

Have you ever seen a hamster with its cheeks full? They can shove food in their mouths and save it for later. In the meantime, they look a bit ridiculous, but hey, at least they won’t go hungry. I’ve been that hamster for the past 40 years, and my cheeks hurt.

Somewhere in my early days, a program was installed into my subconscious mind that I didn’t have enough and needed to stock up. I used to laugh when I visited my mom’s house and saw piled in her basement 100 rolls of toilet paper, 6 cases of water, and enough beans to send the neighborhood blasting off to outer space.

I didn’t realize that I am a grown adult, doing the same thing, but in a new, twisted way. Just like my mom, I needed more, but I also wanted better. Forget better; I’m going for perfection. That pillow won’t work; the shade of blue is off. It’s time to get a new one. That chair has a slight stain; let me see what black Friday deals are out there. I can’t have that cereal box in my pantry; it must go in a designer container that goes with the rest of my pantry. There is a fine line between good design and insanity, and I feel like I have been dancing back and forth over it—one more project, one more purchase, one more, always leading to another and another.

The need for more or perfection in any part of our life might appear to the Instagram world as desirable, but it left me exhausted. The never-ending voice that says, “Well, now you need this, or now you should do this…” There is no peace in perfection. But it’s how most of us have been programmed since childhood, from the ads on the television to social media posts always screaming to our subconscious: you will be happy when you have this or do that. All lies.

During this season of holiday preparation, I decided this old program needed an upgrade. It started on my porch with two pots of pink flowers. By now, my summer flowers are typically dead, and they would have to go to make room for matching poinsettias, a highly acceptable Christmas flower. But these begonias were still thriving, and I just couldn’t part with them. They just sat there in their perfect beauty, not matching a single thing, reminding me – they were enough. 

 That led to the decision to skip the porch lights this year since we weren’t going for perfection. My husband sneakily contributed to our décor by adding a red and green bulb in each light by the door and a festive chicken. Sure, it totally killed my old-world farmhouse charm and clashed with everything else, including my pink flowers, but hey, they are enough.

I even noticed my kids made Christmas lists this year beginning in November and continued to add more and more. It was super annoying, but of course, our children are divine mirrors. What irritates us in them is something for us to examine in ourselves.

That set me on a 3-week cleanse through our house. I went closet by closet, then room by room, with two laundry baskets each time. One was for garbage, and one was to donate. I have done this before, but this time, it went deeper. It was a conscious cleanse, examining each item and determining its worth. Was I using it, going to use it soon, or would someone else benefit from it? I had been saving many new items in my “cheeks” for future what-ifs. There were tons of backup sets of sheets, blankets, towels, etc. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Clearing all this clutter felt refreshing, bringing me more inner peace. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world and vice versa.

Are you feeling overwhelmed yourself? Instead of the typical culturally programmed strategies of hitting the gym or grabbing a glass of wine, I suggest you clean out a closet. I mean, really clean it out! That deeper clean where you go through every item and piece of paper and weigh its value. What are you holding onto that is holding you back? As you lighten your environment, you will also feel a sense of inner lightness. See how much your environment impacts your mental state when you organize your personal space.

If you need places to donate, local shelters take many items, including clothes, bedding, furniture, and small appliances. Local buy nothing groups on Facebook are also a great way to give where you live. If your item has some monetary value and is worth your time to sell it, try putting it on Facebook Marketplace. Just get it out of your home. If this sounds like a great idea, but the thought overwhelms you, begin with the smallest space in your home. How about one closet or one dresser? This small victory will motivate you to work towards your next space. Just don’t move your donation piles to the garage, where they become furniture for the next few months. Put those items straight into your car so you will be motivated to get them to their next blessed owner. Your inner peace is worth it!
Becky Cummings is the co-founder of Free Kids Academy, an author, teacher, and mom of three. She loves kids and thinks they are divine little humans with unlimited curiosity and creativity. She also loves speaking her truth. Becky is blessed to combine these passions by writing children’s books that spread messages of love, hope, faith, health, and happiness. In the past 5 years, Becky has self-published 14 books which have sold over 300k copies, had several titles translated into 8 languages, and has made it onto the shelves of big box stores like Target and Barnes and Noble. When she isn’t writing or planning for the opening of her school, you might find her salsa dancing, eating a veggie burrito at her favorite Mexican joint, or traveling to new places! Her dream is to world school her children by spending a year on a cruise ship sailing around the globe. To learn more about her books visit www.authorbcummings.com and to learn more about her school visit www.freekidsacademy.com.